and restore the Nation’s pride in sensible, full coverage, cotton pants
Become a member yourself by contacting my Publishers Splimple Limited – or give the gift of membership to someone you love or respect.
You can complete this form either by typing in your details then printing it out OR by printing out a blank form and filling it in using a fountain pen.
I am right behind Mrs Dorothy Wills-Doncaster’s campaign to rid the nation of scanty continental pants that cause fungal infections, constipation and over-sized babies. I understand that you are acting as her agent – and she has indicated that I should apply to you with regard to membership of her Guardians of Underwear that is Sensible, Secure, Elasticated and Trustworthy.
Here are my contact details:
Name
Address
Post code
Email
I wish to become a member of GUSSET
OR ... I wish to give the gift of membership to the following person
Name
Address
Post Code
Do you wish to be identified as the benefactor of this gift?
I will pay the sum of 12 guineas (£12.60) by credit card
I will pay the sum of 12 guineas (£12.60) by cheque
Card number
Start Date Expiry Date
3 digit Security Code (last 3 numbers on rear of card)
If paying by credit card, is the name and address on the card the same as the delivery address?
If no, please confirm details below
Name
Address
Post code
I understand that new members of G.U.S.S.E.T receive a pair of approved, monogrammed Cosy Comfort Cotton Pants, an automobile windshield sticker and a personal letter from Mrs Wills-Doncaster confirming immunity from police prosecution in connection with pant substitution or washing line observation.
In return I understand that all G.U.S.S.E.T. members are expected to act within the law and behave in a dignified manner – and to wear sensible underclothes at all times.
Signed: ……………………………………… dated: ……………………………
print out this form and fax to Mrs Dorothy Wills-Doncaster’s publishers:
Splimple Limited on
01789 264296
or post to them at PO Box 2973, Stratford upon Avon, Warwickshire CV37 1ZP. * UK mainland only. If outside this area please email Splimple at wow@splimple.com to confirm carriage costs
