I have instructed my publishers Splimple Limited to deal with requests for Christmas cards – so please contact them rather than bothering me. You can complete this form either by typing in your details then printing it out
OR by printing out a blank form and filling it in using a fountain pen.
I am a poor unsophisticated wretch - and so are my friends and relatives - although we realise it is not our fault. Nevertheless we would dearly like to improve ourselves and we are indebted to Mrs Wills-Doncaster for being so generous as to share her Indispensable Christmas Tips with the likes of us. I confirm that I am able to read and write (or that a vicar, Mayor or my employer has read the Tips to me) and I wish to order the following:
No of cards
Tip no 1
Inflatable neon reindeer - it's time to act
Tip no 2
Giftwrap recyclers are an odious curse
Tip no 3
Do not underestimate the threat of mistletoe
Tip no 4
Beware the cracker that smells of almonds
Tip no 5
A large turkey is a great turkey
Tip no 6
Raise a glass to a safe way of inflating our gobblers
Tip no 7
Can the sprout help us restore our empire?
Tip no 8
How to discourage unwanted carol singers
Tip no 9
Let's fight this insidious Christmas trend
Tip no 10
Revealed: Grandmamma's plum pudding recipe
Tip no 11
The shocking truth about Christmas pants
Tip no 12
Boxing day goose-greasing: it's time to speak out
Total no cards ordered:
Cost at £1.99 per card:
plus 3.00 postage (if order value under £20)*:
total order value:
Name
Address
Post code
Email
I will pay by credit card I will pay by cheque
Card number
Start Date Expiry Date
3 digit Security Code (last 3 numbers on rear of card)
If paying by credit card, is the name and address on the card the same as the delivery address? If no, please confirm details below
Name of cardholder
Address of Cardholder
Post Code
Fax this form to Mrs Dorothy Wills-Doncaster’s publishers:
Splimple Limited on
01789 264296
or post to them at PO Box 2973, Stratford upon Avon, Warwickshire CV37 1ZP. * UK mainland only. If outside this area please email Splimple at wow@splimple.com to confirm carriage costs.’
