Now listen here:

“When Barnes Wallis invented the internet to save Great Britain from being overrun by Nazi terrorists, little did he realise that a few decades later his creation would metamorphosise into the cesspit of wanton depravity and decadence that it has become today.  Indeed, I read in the Daily Mail (or was it Country Life?) that nine out of every ten people using the world wide web are on the sex offenders register - and that 63% of all websites are directly or indirectly
controlled by the Russian mafia.

It’s a frightening thought - so frightening in fact, that the time has come for good and decent people to stand up and be counted ... to use their influence and public profile to turn a force for evil into a force for good.

So in offering you a warm welcome to my online home I must forewarn you that
Dorothy-Wills-Doncaster.com is a place of enlightenment - an oasis in a moral desert - a corner of the internet where British values, commonsense and traditions are ruthlessly upheld – and where I have no hesitation about revealing some uncomfortable (and occasionally shocking) truths.

Yet this is not a website for the elite; quite the contrary in fact.  The internet is a marvellous way for the privileged classes to communicate with ordinary working people - so regardless of whether you are state-educated, an illegal immigrant, a single mother, a subscriber to Sky Television, a reader of Hello magazine or a wearer of branded clothing, you are welcome here.

I realise of course, that you may have unwittingly stumbled across my website during an anxious search for titillating information about latex fetishwear, bisexual morris dancers, plump sheep, Cornish transvestites or medieval torture equipment - and if that is the case
PLEASE LEAVE NOW
and take your dirty thoughts with you.

To everyone else I extend a heartfelt Wills-Doncaster welcome - and I hope that in some small way (within your own social and intellectual limitations) your visit leads you down the path of a more fulfilled life.”